Dear Daisy,
It's been over a week since I have written to you. I'm so sorry. Don't ever think I am not thinking about you. I think about you all day every day. I find myself looking at your pictures several times a day.
Mommy started back to work last Thursday. Another beginning to my life without you. Mommy was so scared. But everyone made me feel so very welcome and missed. I showed your pictures off a lot. Everyone saw how truly beautiful my angel is. People asked questions... which actually made Mommy feel better. Because you did exist... you ARE my daughter. It feels worse when people try to pretend that nothing happened. Something very big did happen though... I lost a part of me.
Mommy has been really grouchy towards Daddy. I'm sorry for that too. I think part of it is that Daddy doesn't understand how Mommy feels. Yes, he did lose you too but our relationship is different. You grew inside me and you died inside me. A part of my soul is gone and Daddy doesn't understand the emptiness Mommy feels. How does a Mother go on to feel "normal" again afterwards? I don't think I'll ever be the same person. My whole life revolved around you. You were the beginning and the end of everything. I feel so lost. Mostly because I have no direction anymore. YOU were my direction. Your life was my future. Now what?
I sound so ungrateful. I know I do. I don't mean to sound that way either. My life is so wonderful in so many ways. Mommy and Daddy are soul mates. Our love is very strong. Not a lot of people can say that they are married to their soul mate. We can. I have the best family and friends anyone can ask for. My job is great. Our home is quite nice too. I'm so grateful for all of that. I just want you though. I miss you so much my sweet girl. Watch over Mommy and Daddy.
All the love in my heart,
Your Mommy
Lauren
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